Feedback has a way of finding us. Even when we don’t want it.
People tell us some pretty awful stuff, both at work and in our personal lives.
It’s one thing when we’ve asked for feedback and something else when it’s uninvited.
Here’s how I define unsolicited feedback:
Unsolicited feedback is any information we get from others—about ourselves—without asking for it.
It can feel like a punch to the stomach (or even a lift to our spirit, when it’s positive.)
Here are some examples:
Comments like these (and their possible hidden meanings):
- Oh, you got a haircut. (with a flat expression, leaving out whether or not they like it)
- I never would have guessed you were on Medicare. (hinting that it’s not ok to look like we’re of Medicare-age)
- Just cut off that relationship. (telling us how to handle conflict in our lives)
- You look tired. (letting you know you’re not so looking great)